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SIMMONS UNVEILS NEW SEMINAR
May 23, 2003 - Pittsburgh, PA
Wealthy industrialist and philanthropist J. R. Simmons took some time out of his busy schedule last weekend to show a few aspiring young tycoons the benefits of tying the "Double Windsor." The boys had just had a long day of M&A seminars at the J. R. Simmons School of Management, and we're planning on having a few drinks to relax. Mr. Simmons spotted the pair and decided to intervene.
Mr. Simmons began his impromptu lesson by saying: "First gentlemen, you're never going to get anywhere saying 'Fie-nance.' It's f-nance OK? And second, learn to tie a knot for christ's sake, you can't come in here looking like that. It's embarrassing." After the brief demonstration, Mr. Simmons had a quick drink and then jumped in his chauffeured Bentley with his charming wife Jennifer for a quick ride uptown to his luxury penthouse in the J. R. Simmons Towers.
|"Let's get started."||"Huh?"||"No this one goes over..."|
|"...And under here..."||"I got it!"||"I'm tired Mrs. Simmons, lets go home."|